So, where were we?

Well, so much for taking time to write every day and keeping up with the blog.

I am now spending all my free time researching childcare options and searching for jobs. The three-month contract was rejected by the company after I’d been assured that it was approved, approved, approved. Back to square one, except even worse than square one, because at least at square one I was actually working hard at my job. When I thought I had a new job, even a new three-month contract position, I kind of checked out of my current job and started really slacking off. I just didn’t care anymore. I wasn’t planning on being here more than a couple weeks to a month at most, so why bother? Now it looks as though I’ll be here when the reviews start happening in March/April. What a disaster.

We are at one of those points in life where everything is going wrong. At the end of December, A was accepted into the Duke University MBA program. YAY! His company was paying 90 percent of the program costs. YAY! I got a new full-time position doing something I think I would love. YAY! Because of the extra money I would be making, we could afford to do a nanny-share with our next-door neighbor, whose nanny is an amazing caregiver and teacher. YAY!

Then my full time offer got rescinded and turned into a three-month contract. BOO! Then the three-month contract offer got rescinded. BOO! Then Andrew found out that his job decided they would not pay for the Duke MBA program because Duke is too prestigious and too expensive. BOO! They won’t even reimburse us for a small percentage of the cost. BOO! The nanny can’t work with my work schedule, and my boss said we could change my work schedule on a “three-month trial basis.” BOO! Then Duke University rejected the student loan A secured to pay for his deposit. BOO! Then the nanny decided it was all just too much up in the air, and decided she could no longer take on Bryleigh (one week AFTER I turned in Bryleigh’s 30-day notice of withdrawal from her current daycare). BOO! And throughout all this, I have probably applied for more than a dozen jobs and have heard nary a word back from any of them. BOO!

I am just at a loss. I am miserable. I have no hope. I have no joy left. It has all been zapped by bad news after bad news after bad news. Pray for me, please, that things may start looking up and going our way again. This is too, too hard.