Tried and True Tilapia

This recipe from Southern Living for Lemon-dill Tilapia is amazing. We could probably eat it every week.

It’s simple to make, and the presentation is lovely with the bright green of the dill and parsley and then the orange carrots and yellow lemons! I like to grate the carrot into long, thin strips and add an extra fresh slice of lemon on top (after baking) for presentation.

I’ve actually made this using both fresh dill from the Farmers’ Market and dried dill from the grocery store, and I prefer the dried, to be honest. The fresh dill just doesn’t give as strong a flavor as the dried. I don’t measure it, I just sprinkle some on. I prefer the parsley to be fresh, however. I prefer the tilapia fillets to be fresh from the Farmers’ Market, as well.

If you're out of parchment paper, just use aluminum foil. It works just as well.

Last night I paired this recipe with simple steamed broccoli and cauliflower and Pepperidge Farm Frozen Mini French Baguettes for a nicely rounded meal. The great thing about the tilapia, however, is that it can pair nicely with just about any vegetable you can imagine. The fish is so light and has such simple flavours that anything really works with it.

Silly Superstar

Sometimes I like to pretend, when I’m in the shower or an empty elevator or alone in my car, that I’ve been asked to sing the National Anthem at the Super Bowl, and I really belt it out. Yes, I know all the lyrics; I learned them as a child and used to even know three verses of the song, though I’ve long since forgotten those. There is something so freeing about singing loudly a song you love and that means so much to so many people.

I’ve been trying to be that way with Bryleigh lately. Absolutely and uncontrollably silly, and unafraid of acting like a fool. I grew up being so shy and so worried all the time about what other people thought, and I hate that about myself. Don’t get me wrong; I’m not trying to imply that my own parents were somehow at fault for this flaw in my personality. I’m not saying that at all. I just think if Bryleigh sees Hubs and me being super-duper silly, then maybe it will make her less self-conscious in the long-run. Besides, we can all use a bit more silliness in our lives!

Family Meal Plan Friday

Sunday—Lemon-dill tilapia, steamed vegetables, rolls
Monday—Slow cooker root beer pulled pork, John’s slaw, sautéed corn
Tuesday—Cottage pies (made the night before), biscuits
Wednesday—Pasta with turkey and broccoli, garlic French bread
Thursday—P. F. Chang’s frozen meal, frozen egg rolls, rice

Thankful Thursday: Lenten Season

Yesterday was the beginning of Lent, a time of year when I always try hard to be a better Christian, a better Catholic, a better person in general. I usually start off well but then I tend to lose interest or fall off the wagon within a couple of weeks.

This year (much like every year), I vow will be different. I will not fall off the wagon. My Lenten obligations are basically the same as they are every year:

Pray more.

Be nicer.

Don’t drink sodas.

Fast on Fridays (two small meals or one large meal).

Don’t eat meat on Fridays.

Don’t miss church.

It looks like a hefty list, but “Be nicer”? Come on. That should be easy. So should “Pray more.” Also, my church on Wednesday night handed out little daily devotional books for Lent, so if I just say the prayer in that every day, it will be more than usual.

Don’t drink sodas. I usually am pretty good about keeping up with this one, but every year I forget and slip up once or twice.

Fast on Fridays and don’t eat meat on Fridays are the ones I ALWAYS forget about. I just purely don’t think about it, and then realize later that I’ve eaten three meals, had snacks, and consumed meat.

Skipping church is something that I make a conscious effort not to do, but then Sunday rolls around, and I don’t want to get out of bed… Then I figure, “No big deal; I’ll go to the Sunday evening Mass tonight.” Inevitably when the evening Mass rolls around, I will either a) forget; b) be out doing something like grocery shopping when I realize; or c) be too tired to go and will not have dinner prepared and will have an angry hungry child bound to my hip. I inevitably decide against attending the evening Mass, and then feel guilty.

So this year, I’ve come up with an incentive to comply with my obligations. Every time I mess up, I have to give $5 to charity. Now, I’m quite cheap. Five bucks is a lot of money to me, so I plan to not mess up. We’ll see how that goes!

Wine Down Wednesday: Carmel Road Pinot Noir

So my next-door neighbour recommended this wine to me. It’s $20 on their website, and I haven’t looked at the price in store. You can order it on their website and have it shipped to your home.

The wine is made in Monterey, California, and the vintage is 2009. According to the website, the technical date is as follows:

Composition: 99% Pinot Noir, 1% Chardonnay
Vineyard Sources: Panorama, Porter, Clark, Mission Peak and Mission Trails
Appellation: Monterey County
Barrel Aging: 9 months in 96% French oak (17% new), 3% American oak (100% new), and 1% stainless steel tanks
Analysis: Alcohol 14%, PH 3.73, Total Acidity 0.54 G/100ML
Bottling Date: August, 2010
Release Date: October, 2010

Besides online, you can but at the following locations in Atlanta.

Cafe Lily—308 W Ponce De Leon Ave; Decatur GA 30030
Clairmont Liquor—1220 Clairmont Rd; Decatur GA 30030
Kroger—720 Commerce Dr; Decatur GA 30030
Kroger—2875 N Decatur Rd Decatur GA 30033
Jiya Package—1890 Johnson Rd NE; Atlanta GA 30306
Kroger—1799 Briarcliff Rd NE; Atlanta GA 30306
Kroger—725 Ponce De Leon Ave NE; Atlanta GA 30306
Publix—1001 Ponce De Leon Ave NE; Atlanta GA 30306
Candler Park Supermarket—1642 Mclendon Ave NE; Atlanta GA 30307
Kroger—1225 Caroline St NE; Atlanta GA 30307
Savi Urban Market—287 Elizabeth St NE; Atlanta GA 30307
Kroger—1160 Moreland Ave SE; Atlanta GA a 30316
Publix—2235 Glenwood Ave SE; Atlanta GA 30316
Kroger—2205 Lavista Rd NE; Atlanta GA 30329
Publix—2969 N Druid Hills Rd NE; Atlanta GA 30329
L & M Service Market—785 Argonne Ave NE; Atlanta GA 30308
Publix—595 Piedmont Ave NE; Atlanta GA 30308
Blue Fin Restaurant—1829 Peachtree Rd NE; Atlanta GA 30309
Kroger—1745 Peachtree St NE; Atlanta GA 30309
Publix—950 W Peachtree St NW; Atlanta GA 30309
South City Kitchen—1144 Crescent Ave NE; Atlanta GA 30309
The Fresh Market—2099 Peachtree Rd NE; Atlanta GA 30309

Happy Drinking!

Tried and true Tuesday: Chicken and black bean burritos and spinach salad

So the recipe of the week is all from Cooking Light, and it’s chicken and black bean-stuffed burritos, spinach salad (goat cheese, strawberries, Mandarin oranges, and topped with walnuts) with cinnamon vinaigrette. The recipe calls for eight-inch tortillas, but we found that they work better when you use the larger tortillas. What are they—10 or 12 inch? Not sure, but they actually leave you room to use the exact amount of filling called for in the recipe, and then still have room to fold the burrito so that it holds in all the contents.

Last time this recipe was on the weekly meal plan, The Husband ended up making the burritos because I got home late, and he did an excellent job. They were tasty and delicious, and with the larger tortillas I bought by accident, he—the Chef master—was able to fold the burritos expertly, and they stayed together without falling apart. This time, I bought eight-inch like the recipe required, and there was too much filling to be able to fold over the ends, which made them quite messy.

I put less in Bryleigh’s burrito so that hers might stay together, but she took each end in a hand and began eating it from the middle. That little tyke ate ever bite of strawberry and Mandarin orange on her plate, and then she ate every bit of burrito except for a few of the black beans that fell out. I couldn’t believe how much food she ate last night! We worried that it may be a little too spicy for her, and admittedly during one point in the meal she gave the funniest little frown and started sticking her tongue out and whining a little. We suggested she drink some milk, which she did, and then continued eating. I think she may have just eaten a bite that must have a particularly spicy bit of chicken in it.

Anyway, this meal is definitely a family favourite. If the cinnamon vinaigrette sounds strange to you, try it anyway. The sweetness from the strawberries and oranges in the salad and the little kick of hot sauce and cinnamon in the vinaigrette makes a great complement to the spicy black bean burritos!

Funday Monday: Yogh-art

Okay, so I didn’t really have time to do any toddler activities this weekend because we weren’t bumming around the house as usual—we were out and about the whole weekend long. So instead I’m going to tell you about an activity that Bryleigh and I did a couple of weeks ago.
I found the idea on Pinterest (my current obsession) for edible finger paint, and decided to try it the other day when Bryleigh was sick and I was home with her on a random Friday morning. I had some nearly-expired Greek yoghurt in my fridge and lots of food colouring in my cabinet, so I mixed some up and let Bryleigh go at it. She had fun doing it (so much so that she cried when it was time to quit and clean up), and her little masterpieces are going to be great keepsakes. I’m not sure how well the yoghurt will hold up over time, so I’m going to colour scan them and print off copies. One of them looks so much like an iris flower, my mom’s favourite, that I think I’m going matte and frame a copy for her birthday!

Family Meal Plan Friday

We cook at home Sunday night through Thursday night, and so I like to come up with a weekly meal plan so that I can do all the shopping in one go on the weekend. It generally takes me about an hour to come up with the meal plan and create my grocery lists (one for the Farmers’ Market and one for Kroger), and then I spend approximately two hours shopping. I usually make The Husband occupy Bryleigh while I prepare my plan and lists, but I take her shopping with me as a way to get her out of the house. I feel like it will also help her grow accustomed to the routine and know how she’s supposed to act in the store. Not to mention the fact that it gives The Husband a couple hours to himself—for which he is usually grateful.

I usually (though not this week) like to try and do a night each of chicken, pork, beef and fish, and then two vegetables and a bread (bread at every meal per The Husband’s insistence). For one night of the week, I like to plan something frozen or “keepable” in case I get home late one night or just don’t feel like cooking, or in case someone (eg, The Husband’s brother and his wife) asks us over for dinner. I generally do some rearranging of the schedule, so everything doesn’t always end up being served on the days I originally assign, but this keeps us on budget and healthy! Bon appetite!

Sunday—Salmon Croquettes, oven-fried okra, corn (frozen from the Farmers’ Market, sautéed in olive oil and seasoned with Tony Chachere’s Creole Seasoning), cornbread (use ½ and freeze the other)

Monday—Chicken and black bean-stuffed burritos, spinach salad (goat cheese, strawberries, Mandarin oranges, and topped with walnuts) with cinnamon vinaigrette

Tuesday—Bell pepper stew with lean ground turkey, cornbread (frozen leftover from Sunday)

Wednesday— Beef tenderloin steaks and balsamic green beans, mashed potatoes, dinner rolls

Thursday—Farmers’ Market organic pizza

Bon appetite!

Random Acts of Kindness

Today’s Thankful Thursday post is about Random Acts of Kindness—those little things that people do, sometimes on purpose, sometimes without even thinking about them, that make someone’s life better in some way.

This morning, I was having One of Those Mornings. I remembered entirely too late that this was the morning I was supposed to bring in a small bouquet of flowers to Bryleigh’s school. It’s Teacher Appreciation Week this week, and so every day we’ve had to bring in something different for the teachers to thank them for taking care of our children day in / day out, and today’s contribution was a small bouquet of flowers, which volunteer parents will separate and count so that this afternoon they can create a beautiful (and equal) mixed bouquet for each teacher.

I went about my morning as usual, getting completely showered, dressed and ready before going to wake up Bryleigh, and my husband was following along in tandem. Before going to get Bryleigh, I put her toast in the toaster, laid out a paper towel, the butter and a knife, and popped her sippycup of milk in the microwave for one minute. That way, after getting her up, diaper changed, and dressed, I could come out and grab the milk, put the lid on it and give it to her, and the butter the toast and give that to her. This morning, when I brought her out clean and dry and dressed, I found that The Husband had pulled out the milk and put the lid on it and buttered the toast, so it was all ready to go. I know it’s a tiny gesture and only took about 30 seconds since I’d already done the prep work, but the gesture to me meant that he had recognized my day was starting hectic, and he was doing whatever he could, no matter how small, to make it easier. Sweet.

So then I finish the last of what I need to do, get Bryleigh into her coat, kiss The Husband and Pooperdogs goodbye and get out the door to head to the grocery store to grab the flowers. I find they have a sale on small bouquets, three for $12, so I get three. I’m carrying Bryleigh because we’re trying to move quickly, and I hand one of the bouquets to her to help with the weight and cumbersomeness of all I’m carrying (huge purse, bigger toddler, and several bouquets of flowers). We make our way to the checkout aisle, and I’m approaching the shortest line at the same time as a young man dressed kind of “hoodlum-ish.” He sees me struggling with everything and lets me go in front of him. Another little random act of kindness, and I’d hardly even begun my day. He probably didn’t think much of it, but to me, it meant a lot.

So I get to work and have been there for maybe an hour when I go to my favourite blog, Momastery, to see what Glennon has posted about today, and I find that she is asking everyone to do Random Acts of Kindness today in honour of a woman named Mindy who is a mother of two-year-old and who also has stage three breast cancer and is having a mastectomy. After having been the recipient of two this morning already, I have challenged myself now to do three in honour of Mindy, The Husband, and the Young Hoodlum who gave up his spot in line…

Useful, actually

Okay, so I’ve been thinking about how I can make this blog into something someone might actually want to read, and I’ve started thinking about some things that I do that other people might find useful, actually.

Every week, I come up with a Family Meal Plan and then I make up my grocery list so that on either Saturday or Sunday I can take the baby out for a couple of hours and give the husband time to himself around the house while I go to the Farmers’ Market and the grocery store. Bryleigh is usually very good and occupied while on these shopping trips. Of course, she tries to grab the random produce item or two, and throws her blanket/dolly/sippycup on the floor once or twice, but overall we do really well together on our little shopping trips. She spends most of her time flirting with other shoppers. And then there was that one time she napped—

[I have no idea how she slept like that, but she did for about 30 minutes upon arrival at the Farmers’ Market. She’d fallen asleep in the car; I carried her in so as not to wake her but then realized I couldn’t steer a shopping cart while holding a sleeping toddler and examining my shopping list, so I put her in the cart, and she just put her head down and was out for another 30 minutes.]

Anyway, back to topic, people may find it really useful if I post my Family Meal Plan. I am always trying to find healthy (at least relatively) balance meals, and so I end up trying new recipes often. I’m thinking I should implement Family Meal Plan Fridays. Also partly because I keep meaning to come up with the Meal Plans during my lunch hour each Friday because it tends to take quite some time to do, and I always wish that I had my computer up while I’m doing it (but never do at home) so that I can check and see what’s on sale at Kroger that week.

Useful, actually… Right?

Then another thing I like to do is look at new wines to try. Of course, I’m too broke to actually try any of these wines, but I do look at them and post them often on my Pinterest account. I was thinking I could also implement Wine-down Wednesdays and could post about interesting bottle of wine. It will likely consist of other peoples’ opinions, but I could find different reviews of the same bottle and collate them into one blog entry, along with information regarding where to buy and the cheapest prices.

Useful, actually… Right?

One day a week I will post about whatever new recipe I have tried, what I could do to make it better, and whether or not I will make it again. For a person who cooks at least one new recipe a week, that’s pretty good.

Useful, actually… Right?

And finally, I’d like to start doing fun projects with Bryleigh on the weekends, and I think I may research the week prior, and do a blog entry about what I plan to do with her, with a follow up the next week on how it went, what would have made it better, and what we plan to do the following weekend.

Useful, actually… Right?

So we have the following schedule:

• Fun-day Monday—Fun toddler projects


• Tried and True Tuesday—Recipe of the week


• Wine-down Wednesday—Wine of the week


• Thankful Thursday—What I’m thankful for this week, whether it’s a useful product, a new book I’m reading, something Bryleigh or The Husband did, etc.


• Family Meal Plan Friday—The next week’s meal plan

I think I’ve finally figured out where this blog is going, and maybe, just maybe, I’ve come up with a schedule that I will find fun to follow!

Happy Valentine's Day!

DIY V-owl-entines!

Saturday night I invited my Neighbor over after our babies went to bed; we popped the corks on a couple bottles of wine, fired up the iPod, emptied my Craft Box on the dining room table and created homemade Valentines. I needed to make 12 for Bryleigh’s classmates and teachers!

What I used:

Scrapbooking paper
Scissors
Glue
Card stock
Feathers
Pens
Owl rubber stamp
"You’re a superstar!” rubber stamp
Metallic ink pad
Baby shower confetti

These were simple to make. I took some old thank-you cards that had bright borders on the front and matching bright solid colours on the back, and I cut them half to make two Valentines. Then I used patterned scrapbooking paper to cut out a large circle for the owl body, two small circles for the eyes, and then I cut out various-sized triangles from orange craft paper for the feet and beaks. I glued on small feathers for the tops of their heads and larger ones for the wings to complete the look. I also had some shiny confetti leftover from a baby shower that had pink hearts, footprints, and “It’s a girl!” pieces, so I glued some of the pink hearts as a little added bling.

Finally, I wrote various little sayings in coloured pens:

You’re a hoot
Happy V-owl-entine’s Day
Be my V-owl-entine
Owl be your forever friend
I’ll owlways be your friend

For the ones on the top row, which were for Bryleigh’s teachers, I combined an owl rubber stamp with one that said, “You’re a Superstar!” and used gold and bronze ink pads. I glued a piece of white paper onto some of the patterned scrapbook pages and then added feathers for a little elegance.

(The green tags on all of them are just post-it notes of the recipients’ names.)

Interior divination

Since I’m pleading for help anyway, I may as well share the other areas in my life where I am desperately in need of help. I need help decorating. I mean, I need some Real Help decorating, as in Divine Intervention. Most couples buy new furniture during the first few years of their marriage; they start selling off the pieces they each owned and buying new things together to furnish their new home with each other. Andrew and I, however, spent the first three years of our marriage living in London and lounging on someone else’s furniture in a fully-furnished flat. We squandered all our money on travel while we were living overseas, so that all we really came back with was a bunch of Christmas ornaments from various countries and cities around the world. While our Christmas tree is beautiful and interesting each year, our house leaves something to be desired.

We still have our college furniture.

That’s what we use to decorate our house now. When we got married, I was two years out of college, living in an apartment with a roommate (a girl I met in college). It was understandable that I still used my college furniture. But before we got married, A’s company came to my house and boxed up absolutely everything I owned except for a select few things I set aside to be shipped to London, and all my clothes. All that old crappy furniture just sat in storage for three years until we came home. At that point, we opened it all up and unwrapped everything to find what junk we had saved, and had to make do with what we could.

Some of our stuff is great, but in bad need of refinishing. Some of our stuff is terrible, but I’m reluctant to give it away for one reason or another. For instance, my bedroom suit in college was this pale coloured wicker headboard with a matching desk/vanity and armoire; we’re using it in the guest bedroom now, and A has often suggested we sell it and buy something new. However, I think that it will be perfect for Bryleigh’s “Big Girl” room when she gets a little older. I remember how rough I was on furniture when I was young, and if she’s using that furniture, then it wouldn’t bother me if she taped up photos on it or put condensation rings on the nightstand. But it still looks good, and from what I hear, wicker is back In.

I am just terrible at home decorating. On the other hand, I came up with a fantastic idea for a website: Decorate My Home. In my vision, you can upload a photo of a room in your house, and then interior decorator-wanna-bes can have fun drawing on your photo or adding photoshopped accessories (supplied by retailers who advertise on the site) to show you what they would do with your room. Of it won’t work with people uploading their own photos, then you could have it so that you can design what your room looks like by choosing the room shape, floor and wall colour, adding furniture and changing the furniture colour, and then save it and let people have a go at it. I think I would spend a lot of time on that site just rearranging things to see what I could come up with! Anyway. A great idea, but I have no way of implementing it. Another day perhaps.

So, where were we?

Well, so much for taking time to write every day and keeping up with the blog.

I am now spending all my free time researching childcare options and searching for jobs. The three-month contract was rejected by the company after I’d been assured that it was approved, approved, approved. Back to square one, except even worse than square one, because at least at square one I was actually working hard at my job. When I thought I had a new job, even a new three-month contract position, I kind of checked out of my current job and started really slacking off. I just didn’t care anymore. I wasn’t planning on being here more than a couple weeks to a month at most, so why bother? Now it looks as though I’ll be here when the reviews start happening in March/April. What a disaster.

We are at one of those points in life where everything is going wrong. At the end of December, A was accepted into the Duke University MBA program. YAY! His company was paying 90 percent of the program costs. YAY! I got a new full-time position doing something I think I would love. YAY! Because of the extra money I would be making, we could afford to do a nanny-share with our next-door neighbor, whose nanny is an amazing caregiver and teacher. YAY!

Then my full time offer got rescinded and turned into a three-month contract. BOO! Then the three-month contract offer got rescinded. BOO! Then Andrew found out that his job decided they would not pay for the Duke MBA program because Duke is too prestigious and too expensive. BOO! They won’t even reimburse us for a small percentage of the cost. BOO! The nanny can’t work with my work schedule, and my boss said we could change my work schedule on a “three-month trial basis.” BOO! Then Duke University rejected the student loan A secured to pay for his deposit. BOO! Then the nanny decided it was all just too much up in the air, and decided she could no longer take on Bryleigh (one week AFTER I turned in Bryleigh’s 30-day notice of withdrawal from her current daycare). BOO! And throughout all this, I have probably applied for more than a dozen jobs and have heard nary a word back from any of them. BOO!

I am just at a loss. I am miserable. I have no hope. I have no joy left. It has all been zapped by bad news after bad news after bad news. Pray for me, please, that things may start looking up and going our way again. This is too, too hard.

Frustration

It seems like every time things seem to be going so well, the bottom falls out and things go straight to the crapper again. I finally got a call about my new job yesterday, and it turns out that after having offered and received an acceptance for the position, it was rejected at the highest level by the director of finance. Apparently the company was about to be sold, and not only did the sale of the company fall through, but also the CEO of the company resigned, resulting in a drop in share price and a gloomy outlook for the future of the company. They put a temporary freeze on all hiring.

On the other hand, they offered me a temporary contract position—paying twice as much—but with no benefits or paid time off or anything like that. However, it’s only three months.

After much deliberation between A and me, I’ve decided to take it. We can save more during these next three months just in case I am jobless once my term ends, and during my stay there, I will buckle down and start looking hard for a new job—at least an hour every night, and more on the weekends—in hopes that I can have something else lined up as soon as my time is over.

It may sound crazy, but as I said before, I really hate what I’m doing now. Really. Really. Hate it. The new job has better pay and a better title, and despite the hard time the company is facing at the moment, the company is very well known and has a great reputation overall. It will look better on a resume than my coordinator position with The Law Firm right now, and it will get me Out Of Marketing, which is key for my sanity.

So I’m taking a gamble. There’s a chance in three months I may be heading to pick up an unemployment check, but then there’s also a chance that the job could turn into a full time position after three months. I (obviously) would prefer the latter. I have been looking forward to the job so much.

In the meantime, I have already applied for another job and begun that search.

I am praying that all the contract information will come through today or tomorrow so that I can turn in my resignation tomorrow. My boss is going to be out all next week, so it is pretty crucial that we get this taken care of so that I don’t have to resign over the phone!!!

Being better

I read this on another “Mommy Blog” today:

…even though it hurts and it’s hard, there are moments that make it worth the hard.

I have decided to make this my mantra. I will post it on my computer at work, on my refrigerator, in my car and on my bathroom mirror, and whenever I don’t want to do to something or just don’t feel like it, I will repeat as needed.

When I don’t feel like making up a meal plan and going to the grocery store and Farmers’ Market, I will think about how good it feels to know that I save money by cooking rather than ordering in and how good it feels to know that I am nourishing my family’s bodies with good, fresh, (at least moderately) healthy home-cooked meals.

When I don’t feel like cleaning the house or doing laundry, I will think about how good it feels to sit on my front porch with my neighbor and a glass of wine, and how thankful I am to have this house to clean, and all the good people and things that came along with it.

I will remember this, and I will work for those moments when things are better.

I’m back…

After a year of being off, I have decided to restart my blog. The reasons I quit are many… Not enough time… Not enough energy… Those are the two biggest reasons. But there are other, more important and less mundane reasons, as well.

1. I feel that a blog, to be read, must OFFER its readers something.
   
   I’m not talking complimentary wristbands or paperweights or anything like that. And I think it has to be stronger than advice because who’s going to go to a blog to get advice, right? I mean, you use Wikipedia for that. (God help us.)
   
   So I was trying to offer my “Momtastic things”, but to be honest now that Bryleigh is a toddler and getting set in her ways and routine, I’m finding fewer and fewer “Momtastic things” because fewer things are new to me and to my daughter.
   
   Anyway, to get back on topic, my conclusion is this. I still have nothing to offer, but I think the writing will be cathartic for me. So I have decided that I am going to pledge one hour to this five days every week. I will set my timer on my phone and will just go, and if I don’t finish a post in that hour, then I will put it on hold and save it for the next day’s hour. My plan is to do this either first thing in the morning or last thing at night, and I plan to set up my laptop in my guest room at my old wicker desk from college for the occasion, and I will tape things to the wall that I find inspirational.
   
   I will offer my readers nothing and will expect no readers in return!
   


2. I have been severely unhappy with my job.
   
   When my husband and I moved from London to Atlanta, we discovered within two weeks that we were pregnant. This proved problematic in that we hadn’t even found a place to live yet.
   
   We were still living in “Corporate Housing” (ie, a tiny little apartment in Midtown paid for by Uncle PwC), and driving rental car (also paid for by Uncle PwC) because we’d sold ours before the overseas move three years prior.
   
   I began applying for jobs and set up the interview with The Law Firm for which I currently work before we’d even received the shipment of all our clothes, meaning the only clothes I had from which to choose to wear to my interview were those that we’d taken with us on our three-month drive through Europe. I wore a black polyester dress with ruffles all over the front, with a black cotton blazer that was slightly faded with wear, and I had to go to Target to get a pair of heels to wear. I am honestly surprised they offered me the job.
   
   After I had my first interview with The Law Firm, I discussed the job with A and decided that I would not take it. It was a huge step down from what I was doing in London, and they’d told me flat out in the in the interview that there was zero chance for advancement in this position. It was in Marketing—something I desperately did not want to do. I’m an editor.
   
   And then we found out I was going to have Bryleigh. We were scared shitless, but what could we do? So we said, okay, that job that I didn’t want? We’ll take it after all.
   
   And we need it yesterday.
   
   So when they called to offer me the position, that’s what I did. And I’ve been miserable ever since.
   
   That unhappiness in my job has also caused unhappiness at home, though. I am miserable at work, and A keeps telling me that I’m going to continue to be unhappy until I buckle down and really work on my resume and portfolio and start looking and applying for jobs. And he means it.
   
   He wants me to come in every evening—which is at 6:30 after picking up the kid and sitting in traffic, by the way—play with kid and the dogs while cooking dinner, give the kid a bath, read her a story, put her to bed, clean the kitchen, feed the dogs, prepare whatever I can of the next night’s dinner, get the coffee ready, prepare Bryleigh’s morning sippycup and the dogs’ breakfasts, pick up the house, do some laundry and then spend whatever time I have left before passing out for the night searching for jobs and working on my resume.
   
   Now, don’t get me wrong—A is not Super Husband, but he’s not Dickhead Husband either. He helps out with some of the stuff above, so I’m not doing everything every night.
   
   But still even if I only do half of the above, it’s usually nine or 10 o’clock by the time it’s all finished, and at that point I’m ready to get in bed, read or watch television for half an hour, and then pass out for the night. What I do not want to do at 10 o’clock at night is fire up our slow-as-Christmas ancient-relic-from-2006 of a computer and start marketing myself to strangers.
   
   And the other problem is that he would do it.
   
   When A puts his mind to something, he does it. He got "let go" from Uncle PwC? Found a better job in a flash (though it didn’t feel like a flash—to him or to me).
   
   Decided to take the GMAT so that he could potentially go back to school and get his MBA? Studied at least two hours if not more every single weeknight and all day every weekend during a beautiful summer that I spent at the pool with the in-laws and the baby, and he passed that GMAT on the first try with flying colours.
   
   Decided to get into Duke’s executive MBA program? Did all the research, the prep work, the interviews, the essays, the begging for recommendations, and so on, and go in—again with flying colours.
   
   I blame the drugs. He takes these wonderful little attention-focusing prescription pills that help him concentrate on the task at hand, whereas I do not. It’s all I can do to sit through a 30-minute television sitcom some nights.
   
   The difference is that he has been diagnosed with an attention problem, and I have not, nor do I think I should be.
   
   When I get home and finish everything that needs to be done, it’s not that I can’t focus on what needs to be done (ie, finding another job); the problem is that I don’t want to do it.
   
   You can never finish what you never start.
   
   So each night, I may want to come home and write a bit for my blog, but I can’t because I know that I should be looking for jobs.
   
   This problem, however, has been fixed. I have found another job. I hope. I have been waiting to receive my official letter since December 22nd. They said it would arrive on December 30th or January 3rd. It still has not arrived. I keep following up with them, and they keep telling me that everything is okay and on track, that they’re just waiting on one signature, but the department is backed up, so just be patient. I am so frustrated I could die. I was supposed to be starting my new job on Monday. Now I wonder if I’ll have even been able to turn in my two-week resignation by then.
   
   Anyway, I am hoping that once (if ever) I start my new job, I will no longer feel guilty about keeping a blog rather than looking for jobs, and I can be cathartic and write an hour a day and be happy.

So I’m blogging again. As I said before, if anyone is reading this, thank you, but until I figure out where this is going, I won’t be offering you anything in return.